Stella's Birth Story

This post might be more information than you care to know, but I thought I'd write it down for me and for anyone else who wishes to know.

Let's start with my doctor's appointment on Wednesday the 11th (my due date was the 7th)...

I was only 2 centimeters dilated when the doctor checked me, which was really not very encouraging to me. She did some 'membrane stripping,' which was a quick but painful thing. She told me that it would probably cause contractions that may or may not spur on labor. But my appointment was in the morning and I spent the whole day not feeling a thing. At midnight-ish, I was still awake (due to being nine  months preggo), and I noticed that I started feeling yucky/crampy. I assumed it was due to the stripping and tried to deal with the pain...but I didn't very well. I could NOT sleep at all and didn't want to wake Ole since he had to work in the morning, so at 4:30 am I went downstairs and turned on 'Music and Lyrics.' [side note--I had those songs in my head the whole time I was at the hospital...all I wanna do is find a way back into love...]. I suffered my way through that and when it was over it was about time for Ole to wake up for work. I somehow managed to feed Gideon through the contractions and I tried to put on a brave face for Ole so that he could feel comfortable going to work. But Gideon and I had a terrible morning (I'm not sure who cried more), and I ended up texting Ole and asking him to come home, and he did around noon. We started timing contractions and they were about 5 minutes apart, so I took a shower and Ole did some housekeeping before we finally went to the hospital around 3pm. Walking around and getting to labor and delivery, I started feeling a little better and I was scared that they would send me home (for some reason that was a big worry for me). But they hooked me up and checked me out and admitted me. Gideon was charming the pants off of all the nurses, but my awesome sister came and picked him up around 5pm. THEN came the best part--the epidural! I know that some people are very anti-epidural and I wasn't completely certain of where I stood on the issue...until I got one. Turns out I am PRO-epidural. My pain went from nearly intolerable to completely non-existent. I loved it. They broke my water...continued to monitor...all of this while I just tried to sleep. Around 12:45am I started pushing, and at 2:08 she was born. Even the pushing wasn't SO bad because my epidural hadn't worn off. We cuddled for a little while before they cleaned her up and checked her out. I'm not really sure what Stella was up to the rest of the night, because I finally zonked out.

Life is sure different with her on the outside of the womb. Gideon has been having a tough time adjusting to being an older brother. I think it's starting to get a little better, but I feel so bad for him. I didn't realize just how much it would affect him...but he's still to young to understand why, so sometimes I think he feels abandoned by mommy (although he's still getting plenty of love!). Gideon and I spent so much time together before she was born...we'd sit on the floor and play for as long as he wanted. Now I just can't do that with him all of the time. If I have her in my arms, he'll just stare at us with such a curious little face. I know it's good for him to have a sibling but I never knew how guilty I would feel about not having as much time for him. Plus his sleep pattern has been disturbed due to Stella...it's not a good combination. It's a balance that I need to figure out...I pray I figure it out soon!